The Traits of Emotional Intelligence

In his well-known book Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman says that emotional intelligence makes up 67% of the abilities needed to succeed as a leader and that it is twice as important as technical proficiency or IQ. Many studies have supported this research later on.

In this article, we summarize the five main elements of emotional intelligence, the benefits of each, and how to improve them.

What does emotional intelligence mean?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is your ability to identify and manage your own emotions and that of others; If you are emotionally intelligent, you can:

• Determine how you feel.
• Figure out how you can interpret your feelings.
• Recognise how your emotions can affect others.
• Control your emotions.
• Handle other people’s emotions.

Some people are endowed with emotional intelligence skills. Fortunately, this is a skill that you can change and develop by practicing emotionally intelligent behaviors, as your brain will adapt to automate these behaviors and foster them instead of less helpful behaviors.

The five traits of emotional intelligence

Daniel Goleman has identified five basic traits of emotional intelligence, namely:

1. Self-awareness.
2. Self-regulation.
3. Empathy.
4. Motivation.
5. Social skills.

Each of these traits has its own benefits; So let's go deeper and explain each of them separately:

1. Self-awareness:

It is the ability to pinpoint each of emotions, strengths, limitations, and actions and understand how these aspects affect others around you.

Benefits:

• Increases the likelihood that you will engage with constructive feedback and use it effectively.
• You can improve your organization's performance by knowing your strengths and weaknesses. For example, you can hire people who perform well in areas you are not good at.

Self-awareness can be improved by:

• Noticing situations that triggered bad feelings in you, such as anger, and identifying your thoughts and behaviors during those situations. With this information in mind, you can develop an understanding of your emotions and reactions, and work on self-regulation.
• Receiving feedback from employees because it can show how others see you and help you target unhelpful reactions.
• Observing the response of others to your behavior.

2. Self-regulation:

It allows you to manage your emotions and thoughts wisely. It enables you to show or hide certain emotions according to what is necessary and appropriate for the situation.

For example: Decide which tasks can be delegated to your employees instead of yelling at them when you feel stressed.

Benefits:

• Self-regulation helps gain the respect and trust of employees.
• It is useful for adapting to change.
• It allows you to respond rationally.

Self-regulation can be improved by:

• taking responsibility for your mistakes by admitting to your fault rather than blaming others. This will reduce your feelings of guilt and increase your team's respect for you.
• Responding to situations calmly, as your interactions are most effective when you are calm, will finally lead to transmitting this feeling to others. Breathing techniques, such as controlled breathing, can be a helpful habit.

3. Empathy:

It means that you can identify and understand the feelings of others. That is, to put yourself in someone else's shoes and experience their feelings.

Benefits:

• Empathy provides you with an understanding of how individuals feel and why they behave in a certain way. This increases your empathy and ability to help others; That's because you're actually responding to their anxieties and fears.
• It is useful, especially when providing constructive feedback.
• Your empathy for your team shows that you care about them. For example, if the manager is angry upon learning that an employee is late for work because their child is sick, the team is likely to react negatively towards the manager’s behaviour. Therefore, the manager should approach this situation differently. He could, for instance, ask that employee to stay late and catch up with their work.
• Employees respect you more, and job performance improves.

Empathy can be developed by following these steps:

• Put yourself in someone else's position. Even if you didn’t come across a similar situation, remember one in which you had the same feelings.
• Listen to your employees without interrupting them.
• Monitor your employees, and try to assess how they feel.
• Never ignore your employees' emotions. For example, if an employee gets angry, don't ignore it - deal with it.
• Try to understand first before making any judgment. For example, you may feel upset by an employee who seems cold and indifferent, but you may sympathize with them after discovering that they suffer from social anxiety.
• Let your body language and tone communicate your empathy.

4. Motivation:

It means enjoying what you do, working towards your goals, and not working for money or status. That is, what motivates you is something inside you, such as a dream, a desire, or a goal.

Benefits:

• Reduces the possibility of procrastination.
• Increases self-confidence.
• It keeps you motivated even if you experience setbacks.
• It keeps you focused on achieving your goals.
• It extends to the team.

You can increase your motivation by doing the following:

• Remember why you do your work, and think why you wanted to do it in the first place.
• Set new goals if you don’t have ones already.
• Feel optimistic. To be motivated, you have to be positive, and even when there is a setback or challenge, find out one positive element in it.
• Explain to your employees why they are valuable, using an example that encourages and gives them a sense of purpose, which will increase their motivation.

5. Social skills:

Effective social skills are about managing relationships in a way that benefits the organization.

Benefits:

• Effective social skills help you build harmony with your employees and earn their respect and loyalty.
• It leads to employees trusting you, even when unwelcome decisions have been made, such as increasing performance targets.
• When you engage with your employees, you can determine the best way to fulfill their individual needs and determine how to make use of their potential to achieve the organization’s goals.
• Employees will feel comfortable discussing ideas and concerns with you.

Social skills can be improved by:

• Developing your communication skills as many problems may occur when there is bad communication, such as misunderstandings that lead to staff annoyance. Therefore, you have to listen to feedback to know what to target. The way you speak, for example, may need improvement, or perhaps your body language.
• Learning how to give praise and constructive feedback.
• Working together with your employees towards a common goal.
• Listening to employees and empathizing with them (Building relationships with your employees will give you an idea of how they are managed).
• Resolving conflicts by considering the situation fully and trying to reach a compromise that benefits everyone.